I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
we're making bets on your personal life
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
