i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
