he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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