he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
