we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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