he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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