Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
