So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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