Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
