When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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