Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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