Your mouth is God's brothel.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
