he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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