butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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