I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
