so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
