butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
