I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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