even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
