Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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