hotel room ftw
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
