Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize