Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
