Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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