imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
