3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize