You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Everything about him screamed your future.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
