The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
