don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
