I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
