At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
