you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
