there's paper in my vomit.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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