youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
