Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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