I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
