I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
