Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
