too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
