instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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