I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
