i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Come share oat with me in your robe
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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