Jerry, you need to find god
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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