did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
