I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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