you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Randomize
