I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize