Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
