hotel room ftw
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
