ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
