Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
