I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize