LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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