I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
