That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
