That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
