wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
