I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
