She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
