I think I just saw someone hide a body.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
