It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
