i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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